Monday, March 28, 2011

Blood Loser

Drained of blood, lunch, energy, and most of all pride, I narrowly escaped the health fair Thursday. Our high school drafts all seniors to donate blood. If they can't for some reason, they must get a sub. Eric was a sub for a tattooed student, but, due to recent health problems, could not donate. Therefore, I became tattoo sub.

4:00 Arrival Time: They asked me all sorts of innocence stealing questions to which I just wanted to say, "Mormon. Does that cover it?"

4:15 Donation Time:
Nurse: "Betty, come look at these veins. I'm not comfortable with these. They look too small."
Betty: "Did you see this one? It's ideal."
Nurse: "Oh, no! I didn't even notice that one"
Me: Big smile. (On the inside) AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:30 Done and feeling fine

4:31 Hmm... can't hear anything, sweaty, cold, no... hot?

The next hour and 29 minutes consisted of concentrating on not passing out while my students told me how horrible I looked.

6:00
Nurse: "Since you've been here so long, we have to take your blood pressure and fill out this form. Don't worry. This happens more than you'd think."
Me: "Okay, good. I'm sorry for all the trouble."
Nurse: "Betty! How do you fill out this sheet? I've never had to do one before."

6:05
My principal donates in the seat next to me while the other seats are filled with students. Luckily Eric had made it there by then.

6:10
Nurse: "She says she feels fine. Can we let her go? Oh. Never mind. She's puking."

6:30
Nurse: "Good to go. If you have any other complications... seek medical attention." AKA please leave before we get sued.

They had to get my blood pressure back up to within 30 digits of what it was before I came before they could let me go. Two and a half hours later, I was finally home. I hate to use "Ugh" (cuz who really says that and why the fancy "h" on the end?) but, UGH!



Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Silly Rabbit, Cauliflower is for Kids!

Anyone who has stepped into my childhood bedroom will understand my obsession with bunnies. It's so full of adorable bunny decorations that you start blinking bunnies upon exiting. I also have several experiences with the cuties. Most of them tragic.

In short, I've learned:
1. Rabbits are prey and foxes are predators.
2. Cauliflower also happens to be a predator.
3. Rabbits hate everything fun... including me.

My observations of rabbit behavior led me to the uncomfortable conclusion that I, in fact, am a rabbit.

Observation #1: Rabbits are weenies.
Example) I invented a ramp that would allow my bunny to run out of his cage to get some exercise. I left the door open, he tiptoed halfway down, froze, panicked, and sprinted back into his cage. I walked away. Four hours later, he was still in the corner of his cage.

Observation #2: Anna is a weenie.
Example) Recently at a teacher conference in Casper, I passed by a bowl of Reese's cups one, two, three times. Oh, I needed that cup. Alas, they lay on a demonstrator's table surrounded by free pens (also enticing), pamphlets, and a poster. I couldn't bear taking one without obligating myself to her spiel, so I walked on by. Eric's six pens sticking out from his back pocket, however, prove he's no sissy.

Observation #3: Rabbits are cute, soft, completely un-cuddly, smart alecs.
Example) My bunny supposedly has velvety fur. I wouldn't know, however, unless I killed it and sewed it into mittens. One pat on the head and you'd think he'd just been seen naked the way he bolts away. Then, the tireless taunting. "Ooh, I'm so soft and cute. Watch me bend my ear down. Bet you'd love to feel how soft my shiny fur is. Just a little closer... Jump, oh oops! Were you trying to pet me?"

Observation #4: Anna is cute, soft, completely un-cuddly, and a smart alec.
Example) Hugging students makes me uncomfortable. Teasing students sarcastically makes me too comfortable. Sitting around comfortably makes me soft.

Observation #5: Rabbits are easily entertained.
Example) Rabbit #1 (Bernerd) used to love to sit on the heater when the air came through.

Observation #6: Anna is easily entertained.
Example) I used to stop whatever I was doing to watch Bernerd sit on the heater when the air came through.

Although we rarely touch, rabbits and I share a profound bond.





Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me :)

For my birthday I got a sick husband. Sure, I mean sick in the awesome sense but more so in the literal sense. The poor guy was on the couch much of the day and received zero pity from me (I'm somewhat irrational about birthdays).

Well, our main store here is Pamida. It's like small-town Target but less, well... everything. It's not easy finding gifts there (I had the same selection for Eric's birthday). Eric got me Shoot Out, which, if you remember, is that awesome mini-basketball shooting game. We got it all set up only to realize they hadn't included the basketballs. He also bought me a Brita water filter that fits, "any type of faucet". I guess that only applies to any faucet made after the 1960s because it definitely didn't apply to us. While we had to return half of my birthday presents, it was still fun opening them.

A huge plus was that I got a delicious homemade dinner from Eric and a cake all to myself since cake is not Eric's favorite. I, however, love cake and would attend a stranger's wedding reception to get a slice.

After a few mishaps, I just had to laugh and admire my dear, wonderful husband for all of his care and concern in making me feel loved on my birthday. Especially when he was sick. I sure love him.

Also, to my utter delight, my students and co-workers were surprised that I was "only" 23. Last year I would have killed for an estimate over 16!

Monday, December 20, 2010

New Baby


We are doing a trial run of guardianship before even thinking about having a baby. Meet ________(Still thinking of a name although Jay thought of some charming ones. i.e. Chase me cuz I hate you, I drink from a weird water bottle, and Big Rat.). So far so good.
Here he is at a distance. We think he likes us!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Hobo No Mo'


You know those hobo men who strangely resemble Santa that the Salvation Army usually puts in charge of ringing bells for charity outside Wal-Mart? Eric and I got to be those hobo men this year!! We got all dressed for the occasion in scarves, coats, and gloves, and then stood inside the entry way of the grocery store with aprons that proclaimed, "I am a bell ringer" (in case the ringing bell in my hand didn't give it away). Eric and I stood across from each other and competed for loose change from passersby. "Eric" "obliterated" me with the "exorbitant" amount of money he collected. (Replace "Eric" with "sore loser", "obliterated" with "shamed", and "exorbitant" with "pathetic" for a more accurate description). My "swaying" red bucket could not bear its own "emptiness". (Here, replace "swaying" with "bulging" and "emptiness" also with "bulging". Enjoy the photos!


A common bell ringer sight:



A less common, but just as charming bell-ringer sight:


Saturday, November 6, 2010

Our First Haircut

Eric let me cut his hair today, despite the fact that I have never before cut hair. I think it turned out pretty well.






















A Special Announcement

I know we've only been married five months. Some people get pregnant within five months. We are happy to announce that we are still NOT pregnant. Booyah!