The Loony Bin

Do you feel like you're losing touch with those around you? Do you often forget words in the middle of a... um... you know... that thing with words in it? Do you find it hard to follow casual conversation, movies, books, thoughts, or commercials? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be getting old. If you answered yes to all of these questions, you must be pregnant.

I used to tease my mom about getting old, then I stopped cuz I uh...hold on... I used to tease her but then I, oh I'll think of it later.

Turns out absentmindedness is a legitimate pregnancy symptom. It also turns out that I have a severe case of it. The other day I drove to Mountain View (10 min. away) to pick up a pizza. I got there and realized I didn't have my wallet. So, I drove all the way home in a huff, ran into the house, and still couldn't find it. In frustration I shoved my hand in my jacket pocket and voila. I had had my wallet all along in the hidden vault of my front pocket. No wonder I couldn't find it.

My form of communication has flipped from intelligible speech, to general pantomimes. Who knew Eric was a... what's that one game where you act things out? Charades. Who knew Eric was such a charades wizard?

Most of my stories go like this: "The other day I was looking at funny baby shirts. Like uh, Eric, what was that one? No... the other one. Oh, forget it. They were funny though." It really takes the dramatic effect and the downright purpose out of anything I try to communicate.

I even had a nightmare that I had forgotten I had a baby. Then I woke up and for a moment couldn't remember where I'd put the baby until I found it in my womb.

I've realized that I'm going to be either pregnant or getting old for the rest of my life now. This is only the beginning of my mental decline. Goodbye brain, hello sticky notes.