Mixing work and pleasure can be difficult, so I've gradually limited the "work" portion of my day by eliminating one chore for each idealistic notion I once had of housewifery. As of now I feed Liam, play with Liam, change Liam, put Liam down for a nap, change Liam, feed Liam, play with Liam, cook dinner, put Liam to bed. Sometimes I want to call a babysitter so I can get my stay at home mom jobs done.
Over the hours, I've experienced much that leads me to my sage advice:
- Don't close the bathroom door when you're in there and don't leave it open when you're not. I turn my back for one minute (yeah, I sooo get that phrase now) and Liam's chewing on a ufo--unidentified floor object. I once pulled four little wads of toilet paper out of his tiny mouth. I shouldn't have told you that.
- Set aside a good day/day and a half to get ready to leave the house.
- Dress your baby head to toe. Hats, sweaters, pants, socks, shoes. Otherwise, old people talk to you passive-aggressively about your child freezing to death out there.
- "Browsing" the Internet is the new "Cleaning"
- Pacifiers are more elusive than the Fountain of Youth and twice as miraculous.
- Don't think about the fact that diapers cost about 25 cents each. It'll just make you long for gumballs. Lots and lots of gumballs.
- Most importantly, tending babies takes a lot of watching. I've already finished watching all the episodes of Nanny 911, Animal Hoarding, and Who the Bleep Did I Marry?! that Netflix has to offer.
Every day I find myself loving my mom a little more.
