Mixing work and pleasure can be difficult, so I've gradually limited the "work" portion of my day by eliminating one chore for each idealistic notion I once had of housewifery. As of now I feed Liam, play with Liam, change Liam, put Liam down for a nap, change Liam, feed Liam, play with Liam, cook dinner, put Liam to bed. Sometimes I want to call a babysitter so I can get my stay at home mom jobs done.
Over the hours, I've experienced much that leads me to my sage advice:
- Don't close the bathroom door when you're in there and don't leave it open when you're not. I turn my back for one minute (yeah, I sooo get that phrase now) and Liam's chewing on a ufo--unidentified floor object. I once pulled four little wads of toilet paper out of his tiny mouth. I shouldn't have told you that.
- Set aside a good day/day and a half to get ready to leave the house.
- Dress your baby head to toe. Hats, sweaters, pants, socks, shoes. Otherwise, old people talk to you passive-aggressively about your child freezing to death out there.
- "Browsing" the Internet is the new "Cleaning"
- Pacifiers are more elusive than the Fountain of Youth and twice as miraculous.
- Don't think about the fact that diapers cost about 25 cents each. It'll just make you long for gumballs. Lots and lots of gumballs.
- Most importantly, tending babies takes a lot of watching. I've already finished watching all the episodes of Nanny 911, Animal Hoarding, and Who the Bleep Did I Marry?! that Netflix has to offer.
Every day I find myself loving my mom a little more.
Anna, you my friend, are hilarious!
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you back in the blogging biz! Hilarious! Thanks for the shout out.
ReplyDeleteYou should write a blog Anna, I mean really write one. You wouldn't have to be someone to fill it with crafts or recipes it would just be the every day happenings written in a realistic, humor-filled way that everyone would become addicted too. I know I would. By the way, Liam is an incredibly handsome little boy. I wish we lived closer so our boys could be friends! I also wouldn't mind watching Netflix with you :).
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it! I agree with "The Petersons" you should really write a blog. You put that first year of having your first child just right.
ReplyDeleteI'd never go back- because it's tedious and mind numbing after coming off from working a "real" job- BUT when you have 2 kids and are anticipating number 3, you dream about the days where you could 'sleep when the baby sleeps' and watch TV in the middle of the day. As hard as it is, enjoy it. Everyone told me to, and I didn't. Maybe no really does, who knows.
Unfortunately I should let you know that old people will never stop commenting on how your kids dress. This is especially hard when they insist on dressing themselves. And try to forget about gumball diapers, it adds to the torture of potty training.